Sermon: I Do Not Cease to Give Thanks for You

Text: Ephesians 1:15-23

Date: November 20, 2005

Rev. Dee Eisenhauer, Eagle Harbor Congregational Church

This is how Eugene Peterson’s The Message renders the first couple of verses of our reading today: “When I heard of the solid trust you have in the Master Jesus and your outpouring of love to all the Christians, I couldn’t stop thanking God for you—every time I prayed, I’d think of you and give thanks.”

I couldn’t stop thanking God for you—every time I prayed, I’d think of you and give thanks! You know what? I don’t think I know anyone I could honestly say that about. How about you? Be honest, now. Is there anyone in your life that you just can’t possibly stop thanking God for, that you give thanks for every time you pray?

Makes me wonder if the writer of Ephesians—which may or may not have been St. Paul—really knew the people he did not cease to give thanks for. Because how could you really know someone and still want to give thanks for them 100% of the time? Somewhere in the volumes of Charles Schultz’s Peanuts cartoons there is a strip in which Lucy, often crabby with her friends and relatives, was challenged about a claim she was making that she loved all of humankind. As I recall, she said to the challenger—probably her brother Linus—that she loved humankind; it was individual people she couldn’t stand.

Most biblical scholars agree that the letter to the Ephesians is a “circular letter;” that is, it was addressed to a group of churches in Asia Minor, meant to circulate among several churches. So it’s likely the writer was giving thanks for “humankind” (actually “Christiankind”) more than giving thanks for individuals he knew personally. It’s easier to never cease giving thanks for someone if you never have to pick their stinky socks up off the floor, am I right?

I question whether it’s possible to be in a close relationship and be 100% thankful for the other person 100% of the time. Yet the epistle’s outpouring of gratitude for the gifts of God wrapped in human flesh is a gentle reminder to us to be thankful for the people in our lives. Most of us, I expect, are planning to get together with members of our family or close friends for a Thanksgiving feast this week. We may or may not be looking forward to it. Family reunions can be great occasions of joy, but they can also be stressful. I was touched by what Charles Moore wrote about his family as he was growing up:

As a child, I could never put the holiday and the purpose of thanksgiving together. Aunt Dorie would come drunk and weep at the table. No one ever knew why, and no one asked. Grandpa refused to speak to Grandma. My older brother showed his face only at the meal. Otherwise, he was conspicuously absent. In trying to make everything perfect, Mom would always have a migraine, and Dad would be steaming because Mom didn’t feel well. All the while, the Detroit Lions stormed our living room, making it impossible for anyone to do anything except sneak as many hors d’oeuvres as possible.

I don’t think this family is all that unusual, do you? There are often tensions in families that manifest even on feast days, and may even be exacerbated by trying to have a perfect table or a perfect holiday. We may come away from gatherings of those closest to us freshly mindful of all the ways our dear ones have disappointed or hurt us.

Yet Thanksgiving Day offers an opportunity to see beyond the routine ways we regard our loved ones, to see beyond the disappointments that inevitably crop up in close relationships, to see anew the blessings sitting not just on the table, but at the table. Charles Moore’s essay describes what he hoped would happen at his Thanksgiving table when his father broke out of his usual table grace routine:

Oddly enough, Thanksgiving was the one time Dad said his “own” grace before dinner. Throughout the rest of the year it was the standard, “Our father, we thank thee…” At Thanksgiving, he quietly, almost tearfully, thanked God for the many blessings that had been bestowed upon us. I always waited anxiously for something more, something of love to break in after the prayer. Some hidden secret in Dad’s heart was trying to reveal itself to us. But with the “Amen,” the silence was broken and the business of carving and passing dishes swung into full swing. The moment of grace had slipped away.

“Some hidden secret in Dad’s heart was trying to reveal itself to us.” I imagine the hidden secret was Dad’s deep love for the family, in spite of the conflicts and foibles among the members, but that he just didn’t know how to express it. Dad’s not alone. It can be surprisingly difficult to express our love and gratitude to our families and friends, especially when there has been disagreement or disappointment between people.

Charles conveys so beautifully his childhood hope that love would break into the family’s feast. That will probably be the longing at many a feast table, whether or not this yearning is expressed openly. I so appreciate what the now grown Charles has done with this unfulfilled childhood longing. Rather than wallowing in disappointment and bitterness, he offers a challenge to do things differently:

I wonder whether all the feasting at Thanksgiving is more an escape, a kind of therapy or narcotic, rather than a meal of celebration. I wonder because I see so little thanksgiving going on. When was the last time you or I sat down with someone and really thanked them—for who they are, for all the deeds of kindness they have shown to you and to others, for being there? When did you last look into the eyes of your son or daughter, mother or father, wife or husband and express gratitude for his or her life? What about your employer or employee, or even your neighbor?... If we fail to show one another our thanks, what good is a meal of thanksgiving? A truly thankful heart knows that things pale in comparison to people. We are created for relationship, not riches. Sharing a table full of food is wonderful, but it is whom we share it with that counts. This year’s Thanksgiving could be different, but only if our focus is on our fellowship, not the feast; on giving thanks, not on getting full. We must get beyond the tradition of the meal and meet each other heart-to-heart.[1]

“A truly thankful heart knows that things pale in comparison to people.” That is so true. I have thought of that often this year as we have been working hard at raising money to refurbish this thing we call a church building. We want to have a sound, attractive building, but for what? To shelter and nurture the people who are part of the community of faith here. We will celebrate and give thanks for your gifts and pledges today knowing that they will make possible another year of being God’s people together, growing closer to God as we grow closer to each other in our worship, fellowship, education and service. Your riches will provide a container for relationships with God and this family of God’s people. The rich inheritance of which Ephesians speaks is not dollars and cents at all, but the incredible gift of the body of Christ, of which we are a part.

I want to take up Charles Moore’s Thanksgiving challenge in two ways. First, I encourage all of us to give thanks for all the people we will spend this Thanksgiving day with—or for the people we wish we could be with, if distance of one kind or another prevents sitting down at the same table. Don’t just give thanks for them, though. Give thanks to them. Find a way to express your love and gratitude in a genuine way. It doesn’t have to be pretty. Just don’t let the moment of grace that opens to us on a holiday slip away—speak the love hidden in your heart.

If the painful truth is that there isn’t much love hidden in your heart for someone at your table, speak the love that you know is in God’s heart for that person. This passage in Ephesians contains one of my favorite New Testament phrases: “with the eyes of your heart enlightened…” If you can’t think of something gracious to say, look at that person with the eyes of the heart, the eyes of the Divine heart. Something will come to you.

The other way I (as a representative of Eagle Harbor Church) want to take up Charles’ Thanksgiving challenge is to join with pastor Emily in blessing each of you today. As you bring up your offering and pledge, put it in the basket and then please come to one or the other of us for a blessing prayer. This is our way of expressing how very thankful we are to be in this blessed community together. You might want to continue the blessing over our meal together after worship by giving thanks to your church friends as you meet them in the Fellowship Hall.

Perhaps none of us could say honestly that we never stop giving thanks for you, that we say thanks for you every time we pray. But our shortcomings in unceasing thanksgiving don’t prevent us from seizing this day to give thanks for you and to you. Thank God for every one of you.

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[1] Bruderhof.com